Raising kids

From the time my boy was little, he's had his friends. His best friend when he was 8 until he was 11 or 12 was Justin. When he was 12 Cory started hanging around a lot. Eventually it got to the point where Cory would come on Friday after school and stayed until Sunday night. He had a hard home life with his father, so it was "safer" to stay with us. Shortly after Cory came Brandon. Now Brandon and my boy got along sometimes and sometimes fought like cats and dogs - mostly because they're very much alike.

Justin, Cory and Brandon were the core group from 13 to about 18. Justin lived with us for a couple of weeks when he was having tremendous problems with his father and step-mother. Cory lived with us most weekends and for a week or two at a time during the summer. Brandon stayed most weekends and a lot during the summer - mostly to get away from his mother and brother. In addition to that bunch, we had Matt, Mark, another Matt, Lou, Steve, Dylan, John, Paul and one or two others who'd come occasionally.

We have two couches, 3 loveseats, a recliner and 3 beds and some nights we'd still have boys crashed on the floor. We fed them (a lot of pasta, a lot of sloppy joes and a lot of Kraft dinner), we cleaned them up, we fixed their boo-boos - emotional, physical and psychological. When the boys had a problem - whatever it was (school, parents, girlfriends) - they went to my boy's mother to talk it out. She'd listen, she'd sympathize, she'd offer advice and make them feel better about themselves their lives and decisions. Whenever the best friend was feeling particularly bad that she had no purpose in life, I'd remind her of all these boys that she loved and supported and got through their adolescence.

Over the years we've lost a few of the boys. Justin moved out west with his mother; Cory and Alex had a huge fight so we don't see him any more; others are at college or working. But some have stuck around.

Brandon got back at 4pm today from spending a week in Cuba with his grandfather. They smoked, they swam, they partied, they had a great time. At 8pm he was at our door for a visit. The first thing he did when he walked in the door was say "I have a present for you!" to my boy's mother. Then he pulled out this absolutely gorgeous cane (she don't walk so good, so she has a couple of canes for stability). It's a solid piece of ceiba tree with a carved dog for the head. She was in tears. After he went upstairs to talk to the boy she said to me "I can't believe that he brought me something back. I can't believe that he remembered me."

I smiled at her. "Of course he remembered you. You're his second mother and the one that he talks to. He's our number two son."

I guess the point of all this is... my boy is an only child, but we're not parents to only one child. And, all things considered, I think all of our boys are becoming considerate, thoughtful, caring men. And, really, that's about all you can aim for.