Love, Sweet Love

I'm a lesbian. A gay woman. I've been out to some friends for 10 years, I've been out to my family for 5. I've had 2 relationships, both long distance. The first one, well, we just call her "The Texas Psycho". The second one was my first true love. That one ended 4 years ago, and I haven't had a relationship since.

Partly because I vowed never again to get involved in a long distance relationship. Partly because I didn't know a whole lot of lesbians "in person". Over the last few years, I've gotten to know a lot more women, but nobody that really "lit my fire".

Now, however... I fell for a girl. She's terrific - cute as hell, smart, funny, talented, sweet, compassionate. She's mature, she's well-adjusted. She doesn't drink or do drugs. So, I hear you say, what's the problem?

The problem is, she's not romantically interested in me. I'm her best friend, but..... that's it.

I keep asking myself "why"? "What's wrong with me?" And then I have these bizarre little dialogues in my head, scenarios where she realizes that "Gee! Yes! I see it now! You're the one I should be with!!"

I want to keep her for my friend. I really like spending time with her - she's brought a whole lot of new experiences to my life.

But damn, it's going to hurt like hell when she finds someone to date...