Words from the kidlings

I have a lot of nieces and nephews, but the funniest one seems to be my sister's youngest. She's 5 1/2 and comes out with (to me) the funniest stuff...

Just before Christmas she was lying in bed with her mother and asked her, "Mommy... who was the first baby ever born?"

My sister has, I think, forgotten every Bible story we ever learned so she said "I'm not sure, honey." (It was Abel, according to the Bible).

So my niece thinks about this for a moment and then says. "I think it was Jesus."

My sister says: "Well, if that's what you think, honey, that's fine."

My niece says "Yep. Baby Jesus. And then Auntie BlueBlankie."

Later, my mom says "I think that makes me older than God."


Then, just this past Friday, my mom was picking my niece up from daycare. A girl that my sister and I grew up with was going in as they were coming out. This girl said to my mom "You have a happy Mother's Day."

My niece looked at my mother and said "Why did she say that? You're not a mother!"

My mom said "Yes, I am!"

My niece looks at her kind of sideways and says "Well... you're a really *old* one!"

Morons abound - Part II

Stupid, stupid people - Part II

I'm sure that you've heard of this guy. He's suing his dry cleaner because, he says, they lost a pair of pants.

Well and fine. I'm sure it was an expensive suit.

But he's suing for $65 MILLION dollars!!!

That suit had best have been made of solid gold with diamonds sewn all over it.

They dry cleaners say that they found his pants inside of a week. He said they weren't his pants.

Now he wants $15,000 -- the cost of renting a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business because he doesn't want to use that dry cleaner anymore. The bulk of the money comes from a strict interpretation of the consumer protection law, which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation, per day. He counted 12 violations over 1,200 days, then multiplied that by three defendants for a total of over $64 million.

The kicker to this whole story? The guy suing IS A JUDGE!!!!

Are you kidding me?!?!? If I was the judge hearing this case, I'd throw it out, give $100,000 to the dry cleaners for him bringing a frivolous lawsuit, and make him stand outside of the courthouse with a sign that says "I'm an idiot"

Oh, and I'd can his ass, yank his lawyers license, and prevent him from working in the legal system in any capacity except as, maybe, a janitor in the courthouse.

Morons abound

Stupid, stupid people

The guy is a freakin' moron!!!

Just to summarize... he gets told that he has pancreatic cancer and has about a year to live.

He stops paying his mortgage and sells just about everything he owns. He dines out all the time and takes lots of vacations. He's left with, pretty much, the suit he intends to be buried in.

NOW he's told that it's NOT a tumour on his pancreas, it's just and inflammation and he's going to be fine. So he's decided to sue the doctors and the hospital for the money that he's spent in the last year.

Moron.

A) He didn't get a second opinion. I don't know about you, but I'd be running to every doctor I could find trying to find one that would tell me that I'd be fine. Or at least that they could *try* and cure me.

B) He stopped paying his mortgage? He sold everything he owned? I'm not sure if he has no family, no one to leave his "estate" to, but... seriously? I understand wanting to "go out with a bang", to enjoy your last year on earth, but there's NO way I'd blow the equity in my house. Maybe that's just me. I'd *sell* my house, get an apartment, but...

C) Suing the doctor because you're stupid?!? YOU spend all your money. YOU stop paying your bills. YOU sell all your stuff... and it's the DOCTOR'S fault?? I don't get that. Personal responsibility, people! It's something that I've tried to instill in my boy - which isn't easy in today's world where morons like this exist.

Business Idiots

Idiot Business Students

There's not much to say about these morons. Actually, I shouldn't call them morons because they must be incredibly smart to get one of only 411 spots in the Duke Graduate Business program.

But still... you pay $50,000 for tuition, books, and a laptop. Not to mention living expenses. So... probably anywhere from $65,000 to $75,000 for *one* year of school. And then you do something that could piss it all away? You lose all that money, plus have to possibly come up with the tuition for *another* year, so instead of maybe $130,000 over 2 years, you're spending $200,000 over 3. That's potentially a $70,000 mistake.

I'm sorry ... that makes you a moron.

One of those days...

You ever have one? The kind where, at the end, you just have to laugh because it's *overly* ridiculous?

I work afternoons - 2:00 to 10:30 - which means that I usually don't go to bed until 3AM or so. Last night I was reading so I didn't actually pass out until 4:30AM. Today, being the end of the month, I planned on getting up, going to the bank, transferring money around so the mortgage doesn't bounce and then head in to work.

9:00 AM the roomie comes and wakes me up - it's work. One of the day clerks is sick, can I come in to work early?

Crap.

Yeah, ok. I'll come in to work early. Shit. *sigh*

Ok, well, I figure I can work with that. By the time I get ready for work, leave to catch the bus and the bus gets me to work, it'll be 10:30. I'll work until 7:30pm, hop the bus to home, stop off at the bank, switch the money, still home by 9pm or so. Not too bad.

I get to work and see the four *other* day clerks there. What the hell do they need me to be there for? They have FOUR clerks! I work by myself in the afternoon!
Well... whatever.

Of course... it's the end of the month. Which means this, that and the other thing HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST!!!! be done today. So we're all working like crazy. Actually, I take that back. Myself, Pockets and Verbena are working like crazy. (I like Pockets and Verbena). BillyJean is, well, doing her job. (She's a very nice woman, but not overly great at her job.) DinaDumbass is trying to get other people to do her job. (I'm not, to use an understatement, overly fond of the Dumbass).

Anyway, we're all going like sixty trying to keep everything under control. Then the ObliviousBoss wanders in, thanks me for coming in early and says "So, you can leave at 9:30". I looked at her, smiled and said "Oh, so it'll only be an *11* hour day." She looked at me and said "Oh. Well, you could go earlier."

The problem with that being that from the time I leave, until 9:30 when the night clerk comes in... there *is* no clerk. And without a clerk, quite frankly, the supervisor for my shift is lost. So, obviously, I'm not going to leave him in the lurch. Besides which we still have stuff that HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST be done today.

Ok, so I'll stay until 9:30pm when they night clerk comes in. Now I have another problem - when am I gonna get to the bank? I can't really go after I'm done at 9:30 cause, well, I don't much want to. When I leave I really just want to go home. So, I talk BillyJean into taking me to the bank and bringing me back to work. I clear it with my boss and off we go. A half hour later (my lunch) I'm back at my desk.

By 8pm I'm having a last smoke, figuring I'll work straight through until 9:30 and be home by 10pm. You can tell what's coming, can't you? By 9:15 the stuff that HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST be done today isn't done. We're still looking for shipments, hoping to get them through the system before I go home. I look at the clock on my computer, look at my supervisor and say "Yeah, I'll stay until 10:30".

*sigh*

By 10pm we gave up. We'd done as much as we could do, pushed as hard as we could push and... oh well. It wasn't totally done. What're they gonna do? Fire me? They haven't even *hired* me yet! (I'm working on a contract).

So, I'm outta there, finally, at 10:30pm - 12 hours after I started. On 4 1/2 hours sleep. And 3 extra large cups of coffee.

So, I hop the bus at 10:40. Cool beans! In 20 minutes I'll be home! Just in time to watch Dancing With the Stars!

10 minutes later... the bus dies. No power, no lights, no forward motion at all.

At this point I just started to giggle. I mean... what else are you going to do? This is to the point of utter ridiculousness. So I giggled and laughed, apparently out loud cause I was getting some really weird looks from the other passengers. We waited around about 15 minutes for a replacement bus.

Finally got on the bus, finally got home, finally watched Dancing With the Stars (mostly to see Cheryl Burke who is *incredibly* hot).

And now... I think I'm going to watch an episode of Stargate, wind down, go to bed and PRAY that I don't get another 9am call.

*sigh*