Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Lesbian activist dies

Del Martin passed away today.

I'm in awe of these women and their intelligence and their bravery. And I'm so glad that they were able to end their lives together as a married couple. 55 years together. It's amazing.

"Del Martin identified her own legacy in 1984 when she said that her most important contribution was "being able to help make changes in the way lesbians and gay men view themselves and how the larger society views lesbians and gay men."

An amazing legacy it is...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Blame the woman... again....

So it's Elizabeth Edwards fault.

It's ALL her fault. She should have told the world IMMEDIATELY that her husband cheated on her.

Edward's wife blasted for keeping affair secret

Nevermind all the bloggers and newspapers that evidently knew about it.

Nevermind that, gee, you *might* not want to blast to the universe the fact that your husband cheated on you.

Nevermind that you might not want your children to know the most intimate details of your relationship with your husband.

Nevermind that this is a deeply personal issue that you have to wrestle with WHILE DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE INCURABLE CANCER.

No... Elizabeth Edwards should have informed the world immediately that her husband cheated. Because the Democratic Party said so.

You can't tell me that nobody in the party knew about it. If they knew about it how come *they* didn't spill the beans if it was so all-fired important that everyone know?

For god's sake this is such a personal issue - no one has the right to tell you how to react to this situation. There's so many circumstances to be considered from children, to health, to, yes, your social life. It's entirely up to her when, how and IF she ever disclosed it.

Besides which - he's the cheater. If anyone deserves to be raked over the coals and roasted over a spit it's him.

Put the blame where it belongs.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Goodbye my puppy....

Friday, August 8 at 4pm we put my puppy to sleep.

Well, she wasn't really a puppy anymore... she was 13. A Border Collie/Husky/Bernese Mountain dog mix.

I remember the first time we saw her. We were at a farmer's market and there was this guy there with a couple box of puppies. Bernie was the big round ball of black and white fur. My roommate picked her up, started petting her, and the dog snuggled down and fell asleep in her arms. Her big green eyes looked at me, the boy's big blue eyes looked at me.... and I knew we were taking the dog home.

We bought a leash, put the puppy in the car... and she puked all the way home *grin*. Took us weeks of ever lengthening car rides before she wouldn't get car sick.

We've known for a while that we were going to have to put her down. She had arthritis, her hearing was going, she had a tumor in her tummy that just kept getting bigger. But... we couldn't. Until this past week. Wednesday we decided... and made the appointment for Friday.

I don't want to talk about it overly much... I think that's why it's taken me so long to write about it.

On the bright side - if that can be said - a friend from work ended up being the one to take the roomie and the dog to the appointment because other plans fell through at the very last minute. Without hesitation, this friend said that she'd do it - despite never actually having met the roomie or the dog before. She sat with the roomie and cried with her... and then brought her out to me at work so we could connect.

All in all... a rough week. Getting used to *not* having her around after 13 years... it's taken some adjustment. I haven't even vaccuumed all the hairy spots.

But I will.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

This is the text message you want

from a roommate:

"I had a fall... had to call the coppers - heard gunshots. Had something to eat and felt pukey ever since."

Mamma Mia

I loved it. I'm going again. Yes, this notorious cheap bastard will be paying another $10 to see it again. I sang out loud... a lot. For pretty much every song.

I love Julie Walters... she made me laugh a whole lot.

To be honest, the boys can't sing for shit *grin* but they really try hard... The plot is thin (obviously) the sub-plots thinner and some of the editing was ... odd. Voulez Vous was, in particular, too frenetic for me. (Mostly because you didn't get a really good shot of Meryl in that black dress...)

Speaking of whom... *sigh* I absolutely, positively, without equivocation, adore Meryl Streep. She's gorgeous. She's disgustingly talented. She's full of joy. She's full of life. She broke my heart (three times, for 2 different reasons) She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's funny. hmmmmmmmmmm.... she could be my ideal woman.

Yes, I'm going to see it again. And I'll be in line the first day to buy the DVD. And I'll watch it all the way through and then watch parts of it two or three times... and yes, I will sing.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I'm obsessed...

From the time I was a kid, I have loved ABBA.

My dad loved them first and had all their records. The first one I bought was Super Trouper.

Now, I've never seen the stage play of "Mamma Mia", but I'm literally counting the days until I can see it. It opens here on Friday, but I won't get to see it until Saturday night. It stars Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Christine Baranski and Julie Walters. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

To tide me over I've been watching clips on YouTube and I'm obsessed with this clip of Meryl singing "The Winner Takes it All". I think she's going to break my heart.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Random acts of kindness

I ride the bus to work every day. And sometimes I ride it home. Mostly I stick my head in the newspaper and drink my coffee, ignoring what goes on around me. It's my 'alone' time before I have to deal with morons all day.

Anyway, tonight I took the bus home from work. I got on the bus and sat down and this blonde woman - probably about 23 or 24 - sat in the seat right in front of me. Two seats in front of *her* was a girl. I didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to her because I was working on a crossword puzzle. But then I heard her crying.

At first I thought she was sniffling because she had a cold, but then I saw shaking shoulders and knew that she was sobbing.

The woman in front of me got up to go to the front of the bus to "get a route schedule". On her way back to her seat she plopped down in front of the other girl and said "Hey. You ok?" The other girl shook her head. The first girl said "Boy trouble?" and the second girl said "Yeah."

After that, I couldn't hear the conversation but the sobbing girl spent the next 4 or 5 minutes of the ride talking about what was upsetting her. I couldn't see her face but I could see the blonde girl's. She was gently smiling, sweetly sympathetic, and nodded in all the right places. By the time the sobbing girl got off the bus, she'd stopped sobbing and even came up with a smile for the other girl.

And I sat there and watched this short little interaction... it couldn't have lasted, maybe, 10 minutes at the most. But... it made all the difference in the world to that upset girl. Just that someone listened to her, acknowledged her pain... someone she didn't even know thought she was important enough to listen.

Now, I don't know if that girl has any kind of support system - friends, family, sister - to help her through whatever it was that upset her. But she had someone in that immediate moment of need. And that was an amazing thing for that blonde woman to do.

When I got off the bus, I passed by her on purpose, looked down and said "That was a really, really sweet thing you did." She looked stunned for a second and then smiled at me. "Thank you," she said. "Someone had to do something."

And if there were more people like her - including me - the world would be an infinitely better place.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Straight girls acting like gay gals


I'm not sure about the "straight"part... but that could just be my little fantasy *grin*

This is courtesy of Dorothy surrenders.

Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals: Fight Club


My vote is for Mariska... *grin*

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Princess Eugenie gets naked

Oh for crimony's sake, leave the kid alone.

She's a high-schooler at the end of her term who got a little drunk and danced naked in the moonlight.

Who hasn't? Who hasn't gone skinny-dipping? More importantly, who hasn't gotten a little drunk and done something which seemed like a good idea at the time? I know I have. Not that I'm going to tell you what it was, but... suffice to say it involved a tent, a lot of alcohol and a very, very late night...

Anyway.... she's a kid. Leave her alone. Nobody got hurt, nobody got pictures, nobody got kicked out of school.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Gay Marriage in Ontario - 5 years

This is a wonderfully well-written article from Toronto's Globe and Mail. In it's entirety because I think it's important.

I'm immensely proud to be Canadian.

Five years ago today, gay marriage became legal in Ontario – and equality has lived more happily ever after

Special to Globe and Mail Update

Five years ago today, I put on a white suit and my good luck shoes and went to the office of the Ontario Court of Appeal to pick up a judgment.

The case was Halpern et al v. the Attorney-General of Canada et al. The result: “The Clerk is directed to immediately begin issuing marriage licences to same-sex couples.” Within hours, our clients Michael Leshner and Mike Stark were married in a Toronto courthouse. I could barely stand up during the ceremony; I was so emotional, my co-counsel, Joanna Radbord, had to hold me up.

Over the next few weeks, we attended many marriages – of our clients, colleagues and friends – and wept throughout each one. It was totally surreal. We had fought a huge fight, had invested hours and hours, alongside many, many, others. Many, including community members, thought we couldn't win it. It had been a battle royale: The government had argued against gay marriage in three different provinces for three years. They had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on expert reports, and if we calculated their time using Bay Street rates, many millions of dollars for the Attorneys-General to yield their litigation power. They said that marriage was “the foundation on which civilization was built” (and wondered why we felt excluded); that equal marriage “would have unintended consequences”; that it that could “make the institution less durable”; that marriage was “inherently procreative”; that equal marriage would remove incentives for heterosexuality and so all women would naturally become lesbians, and “men's contribution to society would be reduced to little more than a teaspoonful of sperm”; that gay marriage was linguistically impossible, just as it would be to say that “my boys are close sisters” or “he's a married bachelor” (that one actually scared me at first); and that gays and lesbians had caused or would cause the breakdown of the family.

Nobody expected that the judgment would have immediate effect. We argued for it – begged for it, truth be told – but between counsel felt that there was little prospect of an immediate remedy. That was the beauty of Halpern and the genius of Roy McMurtry, then the chief justice of Ontario. The judgment had immediate effect. Marriages proceeded. And everybody went on television and said “the genie is out of the bottle,” “the toothpaste is out of the tube,” “the horses are out of the barn” and, well, so it was. Just seven days after the judgment, the federal government announced that it would not appeal.

Nothing prepared us for the backlash and media saturation. For almost the entire summer of 2003, the newspapers were consumed by gay marriage, day after day of front-page stories, for weeks and weeks, tirades by those in opposition, threats by sociologists and “ethicists” about “the end of marriage” or “the rights of children to have a mother and a father,” and volumes of ranting and downright hateful letters to the editor. Few appeared to recognize that, at least legally and, well, practically, too, it seemed, the matter was decided.

Over the next three years, the issue certainly consumed more than its share of public debate. We had religious groups seeking the right to appeal the judgment, court decisions in favour of equal marriage from British Columbia, Quebec, Nova Scotia and the Yukon, the first same-sex divorce, a Reference before the Supreme Court of Canada, endless debate during two subsequent federal elections, and massive efforts made by Egale and political experts in Ottawa to get the bill passed. Eventually, by a free-vote at 9 p.m. on June 28, 2005, same-sex marriage became a reality across Canada. The judgment of the Court of Appeal for Ontario in Halpern has continued the tradition of Canadian human-rights jurisprudence showing international leadership. Perhaps the best indicator of how influential the case would become was that within weeks, both U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and the Pope came out with aggressively negative statements against Ontario's highest court (we joked about how those two events were the highest measure of the accomplishment).

In November, 2003, the Massachusetts court decision, the first American court decision in favour of equal marriage, cited Halpern at the operative part of its judgment, saying: “We face a problem similar to one that recently confronted the Court of Appeal for Ontario, the highest court of that Canadian province. … In holding that the limitation of civil marriage to opposite-sex couples violated the Charter, the Court of Appeal refined the common-law meaning of marriage. We concur with this remedy ...”

A few weeks ago, the California Court of Appeal became the second American appellate court to render judgment in favour of equal marriage. The decision, perhaps out of necessity, is without any doubt the most emotive and powerful of any of the judgments so far. It references Halpern and also two other Supreme Court of Canada sexual-orientation equality cases, Egan v. Canada and M. v. H.

It's estimated that about 15,000 gay or lesbian couples have been married in Canada since June 17, 2003. In Toronto, 4,650 licences had been issued to same-sex couples at the end of 2007, making up 6 per cent of the total issued in the period. Marriage rates have not declined. Divorce rates have not increased. The English language seems to have no problem accommodating the concept (in fact, several dictionaries have been amended). Nobody seems to be forcing churches to do things they don't want to do.

Other signs of the breakdown of the family, whatever that means anyhow, are not apparent. The opposing interest groups, including some big-spending American traditional family forces, have publicly announced their retreat. Of course, what that data doesn't show is that individual lives have changed. I have experienced and heard about my share of gay and lesbian weddings, all different and yet, often so similar. Again and again, couples speak of authenticity, and of greater feelings of citizenship and inclusion in families and communities. They tell of neighbours sewing their dresses, reuniting and acceptance with family members, the importance of the public declaration, the effect of the event on their relationships with others.

Many are surprised by how different they feel, both as a couple and in their lives generally. Our 12-year-old client Robbie Kemper perhaps said it best when he took to the microphone the day of the decision and declared, “Now nobody can say I don't have a real family.”

The wedding stories are poignant and astonishing. I continue to be awed. I don't want to leave the impression that discrimination has been eradicated, but things are just a little different. You can feel it in our cities. Not just on Church Street or Ste-Catherine, although you can feel it there, too. Yes, the pace of progress is slow, but today, on the fifth anniversary of Halpern, let's just celebrate that it worked. The Charter is not just some academic document.

And for all of the thousands of volunteers – people working with the Metropolitan Community Church, with Egale, all of the psychological and psychiatric associations and legal-interest groups, professors, lawyers, lobbyists, educators and thousands of other community volunteers, we all get to say, five years later, we were right. The sky has not fallen. A few people's lives are better, that's all. Heterosexuality remains remarkably popular. As the California Court of Appeal wrote just a few weeks ago, “There are enough marriage licenses to go around.”

When we argued the case before the Ontario Court of Appeal, then-chief justice Roy McMurtry interrupted my co-counsel, and said something like, “You are asking us to go further than any other country has gone to date, aren't you?” Joanna stood back from the lectern. She paused, and took a deep breath. I began scribbling answers for her. She didn't need them. The room was still. She simply said, “Yes, Chief Justice. And that's why I'm proud to be a Canadian.”

Today, five years later, as the judgment continues to change lives here and internationally, I simply say: Indeed. How proud we all should be that the Canadian vision of equality and freedom has life and meaning. And wings.

Martha McCarthy was lead counsel in Halpern et al v. the Attorney-General of Canada et al. She is the winner of the Ontario Bar Association 2007 Award of Excellence in Family Law and a campaigner for gay equality rights

Monday, June 09, 2008

JK Rowling Commencement Speech at Harvard

Funny. Intelligent. Thought-provoking. Inspiring.

This is part 1:

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Words from the kidlings

I have a lot of nieces and nephews, but the funniest one seems to be my sister's youngest. She's 5 1/2 and comes out with (to me) the funniest stuff...

Just before Christmas she was lying in bed with her mother and asked her, "Mommy... who was the first baby ever born?"

My sister has, I think, forgotten every Bible story we ever learned so she said "I'm not sure, honey." (It was Abel, according to the Bible).

So my niece thinks about this for a moment and then says. "I think it was Jesus."

My sister says: "Well, if that's what you think, honey, that's fine."

My niece says "Yep. Baby Jesus. And then Auntie BlueBlankie."

Later, my mom says "I think that makes me older than God."


Then, just this past Friday, my mom was picking my niece up from daycare. A girl that my sister and I grew up with was going in as they were coming out. This girl said to my mom "You have a happy Mother's Day."

My niece looked at my mother and said "Why did she say that? You're not a mother!"

My mom said "Yes, I am!"

My niece looks at her kind of sideways and says "Well... you're a really *old* one!"

Monday, May 07, 2007

Morons abound - Part II

Stupid, stupid people - Part II

I'm sure that you've heard of this guy. He's suing his dry cleaner because, he says, they lost a pair of pants.

Well and fine. I'm sure it was an expensive suit.

But he's suing for $65 MILLION dollars!!!

That suit had best have been made of solid gold with diamonds sewn all over it.

They dry cleaners say that they found his pants inside of a week. He said they weren't his pants.

Now he wants $15,000 -- the cost of renting a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business because he doesn't want to use that dry cleaner anymore. The bulk of the money comes from a strict interpretation of the consumer protection law, which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation, per day. He counted 12 violations over 1,200 days, then multiplied that by three defendants for a total of over $64 million.

The kicker to this whole story? The guy suing IS A JUDGE!!!!

Are you kidding me?!?!? If I was the judge hearing this case, I'd throw it out, give $100,000 to the dry cleaners for him bringing a frivolous lawsuit, and make him stand outside of the courthouse with a sign that says "I'm an idiot"

Oh, and I'd can his ass, yank his lawyers license, and prevent him from working in the legal system in any capacity except as, maybe, a janitor in the courthouse.

Morons abound

Stupid, stupid people

The guy is a freakin' moron!!!

Just to summarize... he gets told that he has pancreatic cancer and has about a year to live.

He stops paying his mortgage and sells just about everything he owns. He dines out all the time and takes lots of vacations. He's left with, pretty much, the suit he intends to be buried in.

NOW he's told that it's NOT a tumour on his pancreas, it's just and inflammation and he's going to be fine. So he's decided to sue the doctors and the hospital for the money that he's spent in the last year.

Moron.

A) He didn't get a second opinion. I don't know about you, but I'd be running to every doctor I could find trying to find one that would tell me that I'd be fine. Or at least that they could *try* and cure me.

B) He stopped paying his mortgage? He sold everything he owned? I'm not sure if he has no family, no one to leave his "estate" to, but... seriously? I understand wanting to "go out with a bang", to enjoy your last year on earth, but there's NO way I'd blow the equity in my house. Maybe that's just me. I'd *sell* my house, get an apartment, but...

C) Suing the doctor because you're stupid?!? YOU spend all your money. YOU stop paying your bills. YOU sell all your stuff... and it's the DOCTOR'S fault?? I don't get that. Personal responsibility, people! It's something that I've tried to instill in my boy - which isn't easy in today's world where morons like this exist.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Business Idiots

Idiot Business Students

There's not much to say about these morons. Actually, I shouldn't call them morons because they must be incredibly smart to get one of only 411 spots in the Duke Graduate Business program.

But still... you pay $50,000 for tuition, books, and a laptop. Not to mention living expenses. So... probably anywhere from $65,000 to $75,000 for *one* year of school. And then you do something that could piss it all away? You lose all that money, plus have to possibly come up with the tuition for *another* year, so instead of maybe $130,000 over 2 years, you're spending $200,000 over 3. That's potentially a $70,000 mistake.

I'm sorry ... that makes you a moron.

One of those days...

You ever have one? The kind where, at the end, you just have to laugh because it's *overly* ridiculous?

I work afternoons - 2:00 to 10:30 - which means that I usually don't go to bed until 3AM or so. Last night I was reading so I didn't actually pass out until 4:30AM. Today, being the end of the month, I planned on getting up, going to the bank, transferring money around so the mortgage doesn't bounce and then head in to work.

9:00 AM the roomie comes and wakes me up - it's work. One of the day clerks is sick, can I come in to work early?

Crap.

Yeah, ok. I'll come in to work early. Shit. *sigh*

Ok, well, I figure I can work with that. By the time I get ready for work, leave to catch the bus and the bus gets me to work, it'll be 10:30. I'll work until 7:30pm, hop the bus to home, stop off at the bank, switch the money, still home by 9pm or so. Not too bad.

I get to work and see the four *other* day clerks there. What the hell do they need me to be there for? They have FOUR clerks! I work by myself in the afternoon!
Well... whatever.

Of course... it's the end of the month. Which means this, that and the other thing HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST!!!! be done today. So we're all working like crazy. Actually, I take that back. Myself, Pockets and Verbena are working like crazy. (I like Pockets and Verbena). BillyJean is, well, doing her job. (She's a very nice woman, but not overly great at her job.) DinaDumbass is trying to get other people to do her job. (I'm not, to use an understatement, overly fond of the Dumbass).

Anyway, we're all going like sixty trying to keep everything under control. Then the ObliviousBoss wanders in, thanks me for coming in early and says "So, you can leave at 9:30". I looked at her, smiled and said "Oh, so it'll only be an *11* hour day." She looked at me and said "Oh. Well, you could go earlier."

The problem with that being that from the time I leave, until 9:30 when the night clerk comes in... there *is* no clerk. And without a clerk, quite frankly, the supervisor for my shift is lost. So, obviously, I'm not going to leave him in the lurch. Besides which we still have stuff that HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST be done today.

Ok, so I'll stay until 9:30pm when they night clerk comes in. Now I have another problem - when am I gonna get to the bank? I can't really go after I'm done at 9:30 cause, well, I don't much want to. When I leave I really just want to go home. So, I talk BillyJean into taking me to the bank and bringing me back to work. I clear it with my boss and off we go. A half hour later (my lunch) I'm back at my desk.

By 8pm I'm having a last smoke, figuring I'll work straight through until 9:30 and be home by 10pm. You can tell what's coming, can't you? By 9:15 the stuff that HAS to, HAS to, ABSOLUTELY MUST be done today isn't done. We're still looking for shipments, hoping to get them through the system before I go home. I look at the clock on my computer, look at my supervisor and say "Yeah, I'll stay until 10:30".

*sigh*

By 10pm we gave up. We'd done as much as we could do, pushed as hard as we could push and... oh well. It wasn't totally done. What're they gonna do? Fire me? They haven't even *hired* me yet! (I'm working on a contract).

So, I'm outta there, finally, at 10:30pm - 12 hours after I started. On 4 1/2 hours sleep. And 3 extra large cups of coffee.

So, I hop the bus at 10:40. Cool beans! In 20 minutes I'll be home! Just in time to watch Dancing With the Stars!

10 minutes later... the bus dies. No power, no lights, no forward motion at all.

At this point I just started to giggle. I mean... what else are you going to do? This is to the point of utter ridiculousness. So I giggled and laughed, apparently out loud cause I was getting some really weird looks from the other passengers. We waited around about 15 minutes for a replacement bus.

Finally got on the bus, finally got home, finally watched Dancing With the Stars (mostly to see Cheryl Burke who is *incredibly* hot).

And now... I think I'm going to watch an episode of Stargate, wind down, go to bed and PRAY that I don't get another 9am call.

*sigh*

Friday, April 27, 2007

Medical ethics

There's a story on CNN about a woman in Texas fighting to keep her child on life support against a hospital that wants to take him off of the ventilator that is keeping him alive.

This child has Leigh's disease, a degenerative disorder attacking his central nervous system. He is 17 months old and cannot see, speak or eat. He doesn't breathe on his own and, in fact, would die within hours if taken off the ventilator. His mother wants him to die "naturally, the way God intended."

Baby Emilio

Now, I understand loving your child and wanting him to have the best life possible for as long as possible. What I can't understand is keeping your child alive when there is absolutely no hope for any meaningful life.

I, in no way, think that the hospital should have the right to say "We're taking your child off life support". That is a decision that should be made by the family alone. In this mother's case, though, I think she's being incredibly selfish. This child is in pain. His central nervous system is being destroyed. He cannot survive without the ventilator. I don't think that t his is "what God intended." This is not "natural". "Natural" would have been to let him stop breathing on his own without forcing a breathing tube down his throat. "Natural" would have been, as painful as it is, to let him die months ago.

I have a friend (well, *had* a friend, I haven't spoken to her in years) but her first child was a girl who was born anencephalic. It was tragic and heartbreaking. But to their credit, the parents never once considered trying to keep her alive. To my way of thinking, that would have been incredibly cruel. And, to my way of thinking, this mother would better serve her son's best interests by letting him go.

But I still don't think the hospital should have a say.